Benghazi!–IRS!–He Bowed to Someone!–His Tie is Crooked!–Scandal! Scandal!

Posted on | May 20, 2013 |

Do I really need to go into this? I think my cartoon expresses the ho-hum attitude the American people have for the incessant attempts to find some kind of scandal on a President who, as far as we know, has never even THOUGHT about getting a blowjob from an intern. These scandals like Benghazi never stick not because Barack Obama is made of teflon (like Ronald Reagan) but because despite something BAD happening, there has been no wrong-doing.

About the IRS singling out the Patriot and Tea Party groups for investigation–well, I have one thing to say–wouldn’t YOU take a good look at groups whose extreme members claim that the income tax is illegal and unconstitutional? It has nothing to do with Democratic/Republican politics, but it does have a lot to do with the politics of “No Taxation” which these groups tend to espouse. I’ll bet that Fox News wouldn’t look twice at singling out–oh, I don’t know, say, groups with names in ARABIC–but racial profiling is part of their thing.

None of these lances the fright-wing has thrust have made the slightest dent in Sir Barack’s armor — or honor. There ARE scandals (I am indebted to an article that I can’t find right now for this) that should have–the secret drone war, the killing of American citizens without due process–but these will never be blown up into proportion by Fox News because it LIKES those kinds of things. So instead, the Republican elephants are trumpeting over mice. ‘Nuff said.

I want to remind everyone that I will be at AnimeNext in Somerset, NJ the weekend of June 7-9 and Anime Mid-Atlantic in Chesapeake VA, June 14-16. I will be in Artist Alley in both and also giving panels on inking and planning your manga at Anime Mid-Atlantic. Please come and say hello!

The “Obstacle Course” to Citizenship

Posted on | May 13, 2013 |

We interviewed Senator Hogsweat from the Committee for Immigration Reform, the so-called Gang of Eight”, on the proposed “path to citizenship” for undocumented immigrants. “Well, first off, we prefer to call them illegal aliens. All this PC crap about them being simply undocumented isn’t what reform is about. Now I wanted to call them wetbacks, because that’s what they are, but it got voted down.

“You see, we don’t want even the whiff of amnesty about this program, nosireebob! So right away, starting from when they got her and having them apply for citizenship based on the number of years they’d been here illegally–even if they’d paid taxes–was nixed. Likewise, starting from zero based on when they registered for the new program and then following the normal five-year path to citizenship any Canadian would have to follow.

“Nope, these suckers have to be punished for wanting our American jobs and our American dream. So we figure, fine them, make them pay back taxes, make them wait 10 more years for a green card and then 3 MORE years to apply for a citizenship. Some of us wanted to add wearing arm bands that said “Beaner”, but we were told that a BLUE card would be sufficient. So we made dang sure it read, “Former Wetback”, so when you get to your Home Depot to find someone, make sure they have the blue card!

“Oh, and they must negotiate a physical obstacle course as well–gotta make sure they are actually capable of working! A few tires, jump over a burning ditch, climb a rope covered with slime, hand over hand across a rattlesnake pit, crawl under live ammo fire… A little humiliation is a good thing for these sp– errr Hispanics, dontcha think?

“This is all contingent, of course, on setting up a barb wire fence, ditch, hill, 20 foot wide wall and second barb wire fence along the whole Southern border, marked with signs saying “Keepo Outo!”

In other news, the fright wing is still trying to make a brouhaha out of Benghazi, threatening to snarl the government with another useless impeachment quest if they aren’t given their way.

And in FURTHER news, this cartoonist will be appearing at two conventions in June–Anime Next in Somerset, NJ, June 7-9, and Anime MidAtlantic in Chesapeake, VA, June 14-16. I’ll be in Artist Alley in both and will also be giving talks on manga-writing and cartoon inking at AMA. Please stop by if you’re at either convention!

Oh, Wayne, You’re SO Pre-dick-table…

Posted on | May 6, 2013 |

(IVCAFF News) Wayne LaPierre addressed members of the Houston NRA on Saturday, sparking the usual liberal controversy, but generating cries of “Remember the Alamo” accompanied by six-gun shots fired into the air.

“I was inspired by last week’s piece in Intravenous Caffeine. What else could better protect you against unknown bombing suspects who’d probably already left the scene? If I were in Boston, I’d put my faith in my trusty Peacemaker to make sure that no suspicious characters approached or fled from me.

“Police lockdown? Northerners cowering in fear! How would you know that that knock on the door was a real Boston policeman unless you had your piece by your side to make sure you could return fire. How would you defend yourself from marauding bands of looters climbing into your windows? That’s what “stand your ground laws” were made for. Of course, Bostonians would have felt more secure with more guns!”

After the meeting, LaPierre was assisted back into his straitjacket by attendants before being driven by ambulance back to the facility.

NOTE TO STEPHEN COLBERT:
Dear Stephen, this is Greg. I know you’re talking about me, I’ve heard you on your program. I let it go the first time, but now it’s just too much. Do I have to say it again? It’s over. Over. Must I get that restraining order?
Yours alwaysnever again,
Greg

You mean Chechen ISN’T the Czech Republic?

Posted on | April 29, 2013 |

Well, despite all the additional help by CNN, doing their best imitation of the kids down the block watching “what’s going on with all the cop cars”, the forces of the law managed to deal with the alleged Boston bombers. I say “alleged” for a reason. Even though Tsarnaeva made a confession, we are still in America–presumed innocent until proven guilty. That’s why careful news coverage still refer to him as a suspect. We will exempt, of course, exempt the New York Post from any taint of carefulness in their news coverage.

Thanks to CARELESS news coverage, there’s at least one other victim of the Boston bombing–Sunil Tripathi, who was misidentified as the “white hat” bomber due to crowd sourcing on Twitter and Reddit. Crowd sourcing, in matters of life and death, often resembles a lynch mob. Although I have not seen any speculation, there’s a pretty good chance that some person or persons found Tripathi and executed lynch mob justice. And, just like in “The Oxbow Incident”, they got the wrong man.

There was another wrong man who seems to have been arrested–at least in the news coverage–before he was discovered to be a person of no interest rather than a person of interest–that Saudi student whom even Fox News recognized was selected by “racial profiling”. This poor guy ran AWAY from the blast–like many of us would have done–after all, your first response in a dangerous situation is your own safety. Once you realize there are no pieces missing (as was the case with so many unfortunate people who were close to the explosion)–then you can help others (I am constantly amazed at the bravery of police who ran TOWARDS the blast instead of away). I think he may have had more than safety from the explosion to worry about.

After all, if the police, the FBI, the media, were all racial profiling, what about the crowd? How many of them immediately suspected it to be the work of some Middle Eastern radical? What if the right person–that is to say, the WRONG person–saw that student running away. That student risked getting beaten at the very least if he stuck around.

But what if, as in Wayne LaPierre’s America, there were “good guys with guns” in the crowd? That student wouldn’t have had a chance.

We should all thank Congress for not passing even the mildest of gun regulations so that Wayne’s vision will come true.

And on a completely irrelevant note–”What would Batman call the Boston Marathon Bombing suspect?”

He’d call him, “Jo-Kar!”

#StopCISPA

Posted on | April 22, 2013 |

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ABOUT MEH

Cartoons and text by Greg Uchrin (aka Gregorius alexandrinus), with the able assistance of Fred and Bert Squirrel, with special appearances by George Dymme. Published once a week on Mondays.

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GregoriusU @ Deviant Art

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