Compromise Position: You can go to the prom, just don’t dance…

See what holding hands and rock'n'roll can lead to?

The thing about authoritarian types is that they usually don’t have any good reasons for the things they tell you to do or not to do, they just want to screw around with your life and make you hop to their commandments. Does it say anywhere in the Bible that dancing is evil? I quote from “Vertical Thought”: “The Bible doesn’t forbid dancing when it’s done properly. Psalms 149:3 and 150:4 speak of praising God with dance. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is a time to dance, and 2 Samuel 6:14 tells us that King David danced when the ark was being brought into the city.” Ummm, excuse me, I don’t see the word “properly” anywhere there. I see that three of the instances were connected with God, but Ecclesiastes just mentions “a time to dance”. And that sure as heck doesn’t imply that you have to be praising God in order to dance or else it’s Eeeeeevillllllllllllll.
So anyway, some poor schmuck, Tyler Frost, out in Ohio got stuck in a fundie school by his parents and when it came time for his girlfriend’s senior prom, he got told by the principal, Tim England, that if he attended it, he’d be suspended so that he couldn’t take his final exams and therefore couldn’t graduate Ohio Christian school tells student to skip prom . After all, the school has rules against dancing, listening to rock music and holding hands. “Are you going to live your life to please God or DISPLEASE HIM AND BE DAMNED FOR ALL ETERNITY.” The article doesn’t mention any rules against having sex, btw. Presumably if you don’t hold hands, dance or listen to rock, the thought won’t enter your head. I’m sure the Bible doesn’t mention not listening to rock music since it wasn’t invented back when Moses wrote Leviticus and Deuteronomy, or maybe it’s implied by Moses striking the rock twice (he didn’t hear the water running the first time) and being punished for it… As for holding hands, considering the list of sexual practices that the Bible DID prohibit, perhaps Moses thought it was a little low on the importance scale.
The key to it all is the necessity to bow to authority: “The handbook for the 84-student Christian school says rock music ‘is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people’s hearts and minds.’” Rebellious young hearts and minds have only one thing to rebel against–old farts who insist that you obey them unquestioningly. The kid’s stepfather thinks that the school should not have authority outside of school, as, in fact, the courts have decided on other issues. If I were the stepfather, I’d throw in the Ecclesiastes reference and ask them why dancing is wrong if the Bible itself says that there is a time to dance. And sue their asses.

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Mike Pence: I’m not against science, but everywhere I look, the earth is flat…

Chris Matthews ponders supplying a chuckbucket the next time Mike Pence is on...

Rep. Mike Pence (R-Indiana) was certainly a busy little beaver the other day. Pence, who made news back in January by trying to say “that’s wrong” to Rush Limbaugh about hoping Pres. Obama would fail at the same time he was kissing the dittohead leader’s ass GOP Leader Pushes Back Against Limbaugh Line. First he appeared on the Morning Joe to flog the GOP claim that the Green Jobs bill will cost every taxpayer $3100 in added energy costs, an erroneous oversimplification at best (remember how they flogged their tax cuts by claiming the average savings per taxpayer would be a handsome amount which the “average taxpayer” didn’t even come close to realizing?–those huge tax cuts to the wealthy sure raised the “average savings” quite a bit

) or, more probably, yet another weasely prevarication to get people to vote against their own interests. After Brad Johnson had pointedly questioned the source of his figures, Mr. Pence went on yet another show, hosted by Andrea Mitchell, to flog the same figures. Rep. Pence Caught Lying About Green Jobs Bill and Mike Pence Uses Bogus Numbers To Raise “Tax Hike” Alarm (VIDEO). Finally, he showed up on Chris Matthews’ HARDBALL, where he claimed to believe in the “scientific method,” but distrusted it when it came to global warming, and would only say that God created the heavens and the earth when Matthews asked if he believed in evolution. “Asked about teaching evolution, Pence suggested schools should cover ‘all these controversial areas’ and let the children decide. Matthews concluded, ‘I think you believe in evolution, but you’re afraid to say so because your conservative constituency might find that offensive.’” Oh great, let’s have 10-year-olds decide whether or not to believe in the scientifically demonstrable so Mike Pence can straddle the fence. What an asshole.

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Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Recommends Hotmail for your Terrorist Needs!

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed of Al Qaida/Al-Qaeda used hotmail for communications. Here he receives an urgent message concerning his penis size.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed found that spam often slowed his communications

Back in the 90s, the Navy held an exercise to test its defensive capabilities. Officers were given instructions to develop and implement offensive strategies that would be tested in live wargames. Well, one commander, realizing how futile it was to attack with a comparable force, selected a different course of action. Using small boats, he boarded the target vessel with light-armed sailors, kind of like the Somali pirates, and was able to effect a takeover. Naturally, this result was scratched and he was given a failing grade for the exercise. It wasn’t the result that had been wanted.
It seems al-Qaida, or al-Qaeda, whichever the preferred spelling of the week is, also used such really stupid like a fox methods for communicating. Hotmail, prepaid phone cards, public phones, search engines. The code they used for exchanging phone numbers was devastatingly–bush league–A “10-code”…subtract the real digits from 10 and pass that along. Amazingly enough, such lame-brained tactics skirted by our best intelligence efforts, which were all geared towards navigating the Byzantine and high tech methods of the former Soviet Union. Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri described the operations in his guilty plea agreement filed recently in federal court, see Al-Qaida Used Hotmail, Public Phones In Planning also in the Washington Post. What’s our solution? To turn our entire monitoring security apparatus to listening to every phone call made to or from overseas, wasting valuable resources since we have no idea how to cull innocent from suspicious communications (since of course, terrorists never actually SAY what they’re talking about–Yo, Khalid, I have those pomegranates).
In other news, the alleged “father” of the Malawian child Madonna wishes to adopt, who’d never visited the orphanage and is totally unknown to the deceased mother’s relatives, has brought suit against Madonna to keep the child in his care so she can be brought up in poverty. Madonna adoption case heard amid paternity dispute Sounds like a shakedown to me. Here’s a link to an earlier cartoon I drew on the subject Madonna and Child–Malawi Edition

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