The NEW Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the 21st Century.
Posted on | June 8, 2009 | No CommentsWell, now we own an automobile company that’s worth…MINUS $50 billion. You’d think we could at least buy a company that was MAKING money–you know, like Toyota or Hyundai. Chrysler dealers–the ones who’ve gotten the Bye-Bye letter–are selling off their stock at rock-bottom prices. It’s almost as good as Oprah–you got a car, you got a car, you got a car–a little more expensive but it has the advantage of not having to sit through Oprah to get one. What’s amazing is that Ford ISN’T going bankrupt. I mean, there hasn’t been a good businessman in the Ford family since Henry. Remember Edsel Ford? But Ford’s been through so many bankruptcies and restructurings that they have it nailed. No help needed from the government for THEM.
Keeping with the auto theme, let’s turn to auto-erotic asphyxiation, David Carradine’s death in Bangkok. First the police called it suicide, then they said it might have been an auto-erotic asphyxiation game gone awry. Now I ask you, what was Grasshopper doing practicing auto-erotic asphyxiation in the sex-for-hire capitol of the universe? I mean, this is a place where you could have sex with underage GEESE and find someone who will get it for you for a price. And would you really believe the Bangkok police who have a strong interest in keeping the tourist dollars flowing in one of their most prominent service industries? And do you have any idea how hard it is to tie yourself up? And then hang yourself by the neck and the balls in a closet? From what I understand about auto-erotic asphyxiation (which admittedly isn’t much), you have all these safety features, like easy untie knots for all the important ummm places, and an apparatus to hold them all. You just don’t hang yourself in a broom closet! Something tells me someone else was around…I dunno, just a funny feeling. It may have something to do with the fishnet stockings and red lingerie found in the hotel room. Hmmm I wonder what lesson Grasshopper was learning this time? Of course, THAT could have been an elaborate ruse to disguise the involvement of a secret Kung Fu sect that MAY OR MAY NOT exist, MAY OR MAY NOT have murdered Carradine and was the same sect that MAY OR MAY NOT have murdered Bruce Lee!
I may have done the Carradine case as a cartoon, but it broke when I was in Florida for a family wedding and had to draw cartoons ahead, hopefully hitting something that was still fresh. Congrats to my cousin Gianna, who looked truly movie-star gorgeous in her wedding dress, and her new husband Steve. Shoutouts to Peter and Angela, the parents of the bride, Patricia and George who put us up, Uncle Johnny, Aunt Louise, Aunt Mary and all the cousins who would take too long to name, and my smoking buddies, Lisa, Aaron and Alicia, who all have cards directing them to this site LOL. Flying back on Monday afternoon!