The NEW Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the 21st Century.
Posted on | July 30, 2009 | 1 CommentWashington (AP)–In a new scientific study, behavioral psychologist Dr. D. Ingleberry has announced the amazing conclusion that contrary to all prior evidence, Bluedog Democrats are indeed capable of dancing. “We previously thought that due to their seeming inability to respond to cues provided by their constituencies or party affiliation, Bluedog Democrats had no sense of rhythm or timing whatsoever. However, evidence from YouTube videos show that Bluedogs, like parrots, share with humans a sense of rhythm and ability to dance. Indeed, they do seem rather parrot-like in their motions.”
Dr. Ohso Obvious added to her colleagues remarks that Bluedogs seem to evidence a kind of rudimentary discrimination. “They won’t dance to just anything. They seem to respond best to beats provided by lobbyists, especially the health insurance lobbies, and dance wildly in response to the waving of campaign contributions, much like dancers at a rave respond to light wands.” This is in keeping with the Bluedog philosophy that the people are entitled to the best government money can buy. “And since the best healthcare must obviously be the most expensive, we shall continue to endeavor to fight any efforts to provide our voters with cheaper alternatives.”
Video footage of the Bluedog dancing was not available but the scientists provided this additional video of a dancing parrot for readers to see what the dancing most closely resembled.