Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

The NEW Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the 21st Century.

INTRODUCING CAPTAIN TEABAG: SUPERCONGRESSMAN!

Posted on | November 8, 2010 | No Comments

The new tea party candidates may find the task they've set themselves harder than they think.

Fighting for Fox News, no taxes ... and the American Way.

INTRODUCING: Captain Teabag! Newly elected to Congress, he plans to go to that den of iniquity, Washington DC, and turn it back to the truth of God and the US Constitution. Social programs? EVIL–they’re Social-IST! I’d never accept a penny from any one of them–not me! Maybe my lazy brother-in-law … and my cousins. And a few aunts and uncles. But not me–so WE don’t need them. Forget that one for all and all for one crap. Doesn’t the Bible say an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Well, I’m for myself!

And how do they pay for all these communist plots? All these unconstitutional TAXES. Tell me–where does it say that the government can COLLECT taxes? It says CONGRESS can LEVY taxes, nothing about collecting them. And it doesn’t say “INCOME taxes”. I’m gonna abolish taxes, abolish unemployment payments, abolish Obamacare. And that’s just on the FIRST day I’m in office!

Oh, and impeach the Kenyan.

BUT, we need to spend even more on Defense! All them Muslims are all out to attack us. We need to be more than ready to take care of them, we need to bring the fight over there. Let’s nuke Iran before they nuke us. And bring on the lobbyists so I know what to vote for.

My door will always be open to K Street.

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
[del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Mixx] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Buzz] [Email]

Comments

Leave a Reply





© 2009-2017 Gregory Uchrin, Intravenous Caffeine All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright