Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

The NEW Illustrated Guide to Mendacity and Folly in the 21st Century.

If you did that in Britain, Rupert, what the hell did you do here?

Posted on | July 18, 2011 | No Comments

You're going to take the fall...

You're going to take the fall...

“All right, Rebekah, the police will be here in a minute. You were the one who authorized the cellphone hacking. The dead soldiers in Iraq, the 9-11 victims, that kid whose parents were made to believe she was still alive so we could stretch out the story longer.”

“Rupert, yes, I did all those things, but I did it for YOU.”

“You took advantage of my friendship with all the bigwigs in government and paid off the police.”

“But only on your behalf.”

“And with my blessing–like they did in America and Australia–but no one will ever know that.”

“Rupert, what are you saying?”

“You’re going to take the fall.”

She looked at him in disbelief. Then shook her head, as if trying to shake the idea from her brain.

“Oh, Rupert, you do such wild and crazy things. For a moment, I thought you were serious. Don’t kid with me, Rupert, not about that.”

“Don’t let my reputation as a sleazoid fool you. That kind of reputation helps me deal with the enemy… the REAL newspapers, the gutless ones who oppose MY way of thinking!”

Then she said as the realization broke upon her that he was telling the truth.

“You don’t love me! You were playing with me. You never loved me!”

“You’re going to take the fall.”

The Maltese Cellphone

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