Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Well, Hardy-Har-Har-Har, Newt… Newt Kramden in The HoneyDippers!

Newt Gingrich plays Ralph Kramden--"One of these days--To The Moon!"

Newt Gingrich--the candidate of "No--how dare you ask me something relevant?"

Newt was a bit upset the other week when they disallowed audience participation at the 891st Republican Cattle Call. After all, Newt’s something of a comedian–how to you expect him to time his material when the audience can’t yell out their approval and create standing ovations for such time-tested material as: “No.” Or “Nnnnnnnnno.” Or “Noooooooooo.”
Seriously, I thought Newt’s idea of sending us to the moon when over 15 percent of Americans are living under the poverty level is hysterical. To the Moon! Our 51st State! Take THAT, Washington DC! (Too many black people there, I guess, but Newt didn’t address that issue–THIS time.)
Ah, well, it took Wolf Blitzer to stand his ground to Newt. Actually I think Wolf just misunderstood his own question. Badum-TISH!
Newt–would you like to tell us how you made your money? No. Newt would you like to comment on your ex-wife’s statement? No. Hardy-Har-Har-Har! He even got to turn that around into an applause line skewering the “Media”. If there’s one thing Republicans on camera like to criticize, it’s the media! Must be their ironic sensibility.
On the other hand, we finally found out who else was there when Newt “didn’t ask his wife for a No-Pen marriage (don’t fence me in!)” NO one. Seems his kids were simply character witnesses. And Newt’s historian duties with Freddie Mac? Another No Show.
Hey, at least Newt’s responses got applause–from Sarah Palin. And an endorsement from Herman Cain! Now if that doesn’t prove he’s a comedian, I can think of NO other thing that will.
Hey, isn’t it about time Ron Paul took the Not-Mitt booby prize?
No?

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, nominate me!

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
I am all I long for
All I worship and adore
So unlike me, please be true
And please believe
I love you.

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
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Happy New Year! As the bugle sounds, the horses are approaching the starting gate….

Mitt Romney ties himself in knots explaining his tax situation

Heck, most people could have a comfortable living on the taxes from his speaking engagements....

Happy New Year 2012–and Gung hay fat choy! As luck would have it, I have had a dental issue over the weekend and will be rushing off to the dentist today. A lot seems to have happened over the vacation, particularly in the GOP “Choose the Next Idiot” Sweepstakes. Hey, who’d've thought that Ricky Butt Butter–excuse me, Santorum–would still be in the race! Michele “I don’t care how much evidence you’ve got, I’m going to believe the next random person off the street who agrees with me” Bachman, Herman “the most profound things I know I heard on Pokemon” Cain, Rick “What was that other thang?” Perry, and John “What am I doing in this party?” Huntsman have all dropped out. This leaves the afore-mentioned Mr. Frothy Mix, Ru, I mean Ron Paul, Mitt “You want to bet $10,000? I have it in my back pocket” Romney, the Pillsbury Dough Boy Newt Gingrich, and recently added darkhorse Stephen Colbert…

And they’re off–it’s Mitt Romney in the lead and the Pillsbury Doughboy with Santorum in the rear! How many more of these damn debates are we going to have to live through? I think the GOP has overplayed its hand. It WANTED everyone to think that these debates were to choose the NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. But by the time of the election, all we’ll remember is, oh, this guy who cancelled my TV program.

There IS something serious that’s going on, though. I’m talking about efforts to stultify the internet. The people of the internet have won a skirmish–the purveyors of SOPA and PIPA were scared away temporarily, but you know they’ll be back, and with bigger guns blazing. I’ll keep letting you know what things we can do to thwart the corporate stranglehold as I hear of them (but right now everything’s taking a back seat to my toothache).

I’m going to be experimenting with some new formats and character designs this year like the chibi Mitt Romney sequence just above. Hey, big headed excitable characters–I think that fits politicians to a T.

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
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