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Ted Nugent Now Down With The Secret Service? Did He Get Them A Discount?

Posted on | April 30, 2012 | No Comments

The Secret Service asks for student discounts at a Cartagena brothel.

Obviously, their government discount didn't apply...

Before we go anywhere, we’d like to say Thank You to Jimmy Kimmel for saying something to the POTUS that he needed to hear. It’s one thing for the President to hear criticism on “the TV” where he can ignore it as background noise and another thing to burst through the bubble and say it to his face. With a demonstration. All those who’ve never smoked marijuana raise your hands, said Jimmy at the White House correspondent’s dinner. A few hands shot up and then sheepishly went back down when the owners of said hands realized that it wasn’t necessary to be an enthusiastic liar at this moment. Probably a lot of the people who didn’t raise their hands were trying to look cool (as in the “Of course, I’ve had anal sex” variety of cool), as well. But it was high time that President Obama realize that HIS youthful indiscretion was shared by the majority of the population. And that it was no longer necessary to “atone” for it by enthusiastic scrupulosity in applying the existing BAD laws. As one commentator noted, all that was needed to get around the Defense of Marriage law was to say, “Stop enforcing it.” Why can’t Obama do the same, at least for medical marijuana? Or was that another unspoken part of the deal with Big Pharma to lower their opposition to Health Care Reform? Anyhow, thanks Jimmy Kimmel.

Now on to the Secret Service. By now, we all know that 11 Secret Service agents hired 21 prostitutes in Cartagena and got into trouble by trying to “stiff” a particularly high-priced lady. Umm, by not paying her fee. 11 agents, 21 pros. The question we’re all asking–which one of you guys couldn’t handle 2 girls?

The fact that PROSTITUTION IS LEGAL IN CARTAGENA seems to have been ignored by most of the coverage. We are outraged by the “sex scandal”. The more important part of the story is that these Secret Service boys were bragging about their jobs and relations with the President to a large group of women whose security clearances were probably flimsier than their nighties. Cheese and Weisswurst! Have we started drafting our POTUS’s bodyguard out of high school? Or isn’t there a “brain” requirement anymore?

If that is true, I have no doubt that Ted Nugent is down with the Service. Despite his inflammatory displays of guns at rallies, opining in 2007 “Obama’s a piece of shit, and I told him to suck on my machine gun”, besides his recent displays of bravado (considering his claims of elaborate ruses to escape the Vietnam era draft). He says now that the Secret Service and him are good buddies now. Hopefully because they told him to STFU. But if their Cartagena exploits are any indication of their brain pan measurements, Ted Nugent might not be the arrogant lying loudmouth he acts like.

In other sex scandals, Ricky Santorum, being the Dick that he is, had his picture taken with Lindsay Lohan and is denying it. Oh, come on, now, Ricky. You don’t ALWAYS have to act like a prick with a stick up his rectum! On the other hand, maybe you do.

And finally, in other news, Mitt Romney gave us his solution to soaring college costs. Students should borrow the money from their parents. Why not? He did.

And that’s where it stands.

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