Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Motorcycle Cops! And I’m dreaming of a white Santa…

Cops on motorcycles arrive to chase Revolutionary Grrl down the street.

OMG--I'm starting to hear the "From Russia With Love" excitement music!

Well, I’m doing a bit better today–at least my nose isn’t dripping like a faucet. How I LOVE winter colds! Add to that, an old filling came out and the dentist examined the tooth and guess what? I need another crown! I swear, I’ll have nothing but crowns in my mouth in a few years, more than the crowned heads left in Europe.

Anyway, it took me longer to do today’s episode, the final one of 2013. That’s right, as Revolutionary Grrl gets chased by motorcycle cops, appearing from what suspiciously looks like the entrance to the underpass at Dupont Circle, and ducks around a corner, we leave her for the winter hiatus. Christmas and New Year’s, Russian Christmas (a staple in my family)–my, that red lettering in the cartoon is mighty Festive! I have lots to do before the convention season begins in February, so I’ll stay on hiatus until January 20. OK, sorry about coming back Martin Luther King Day, but, better I take off the 13th and return the next week, than come back for one episode and then have another break the very the next week.

Speaking about winter holidays, tho’, it seems there is a brouhahahahahaha going on about Santa Claus. Wow, did you realize that he was really a WHITE GUY? Thanks, Megyn Kelly of Fox News, you’ve certainly put all those little black kids in their places:

“You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry,
Better not pout, I’m telling you why…
Santa Claus is joining the Klan,
Oh, man!

He sees you when you’re sleeping.
He knows when you’re awake,
He’s built a cross that he will stake
And burn just to make you quake!”

Ah, how I’m dreaming of a WHITE CHRISTMAS, Megyn! Just as white as the blue-eyed, golden-haired Jesus that you’ve painted for me. I’d drink an eggnog to you, but with that yellow egg yolk and brown brandy and nutmeg, it might not be white enough for you. How about some milk–with the cookies you put out for Santa. That’s right, VANILLA WAFERS. Oreos and chocolate chips? Much too suspiciously multi-cultural for your White Christmas.

Anyway, Happy Holidays, people! And for you non-Christians, Happy Kwanza, Gode Yule, Festivus for the Rest of us, and most of all, have a Sated Saturnalia. IO! SATURNALIA! And fear not–We’ll actually get to the plot before Katsucon in February! And remember to vote this up on Reddit and LIKE it on Facebook! See you next year!

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Collateral Casualties should be minimal…

As the machine gun drone sprays the area, Revolutionary Grrl leaps for the rope she swung in on...

It's 3 a.m.--collateral casualties should be minimal--the crooks are all there during the daytime!

Ah-hah, our girl has taken out the drone’s sights with her paintballs. But … the drone sprays the area with bullets? Aren’t they afraid of collateral casualties? Naw, it’s 3 a.m., all the real crooks are there during business hours. There shouldn’t be anyone in the business district except some accountants trying to balance the books for year’s end.

Speaking of collateral damage, yours truly has been down with a horrible cold since Thanksgiving. We hope you all had a great Turkey Day. We did, but then the sniffles began the next day and the runny nose on Saturday and … well, I just haven’t been paying much attention to anything else for a few days. I see the insane wing has been jumping up and down trying to get the war on Christmas noticed again. Fat chance–Hallowe’en candy disappeared ON HALLOWE’EN so Christmas merchandise could be put in place! Black Friday was one of the most successful ever, according to Walmart–there were stabbings, several murders, a woman tasered another one … Just good clean American consumerism at its finest.

The fright wing, in the person of Rush Limbaugh, has continued to jump up and down about the Pope being a Marxist. You tell them, Rush–maybe you can lose any Catholics in your audience, or worse, in your sponsorship. And of course, they’re all aflame about people honoring Nelson Mandela, who died during the break. Another Marxist–he even admired CASTRO! I saw one letter claiming God had sent him to hell. God certainly took his time about it, since Mandela was 92, but then I think that 27 year imprisonment was more likely Mandela’s hell and that if there is an afterlife, he’s certainly in a better one than the injustice under which he’d suffered. Nonetheless, the Westboro Baptist Church has promised to go to South Africa to protest at his funeral. Let’s hope they suffer a little collateral damage when they discover that while free speech is usually guaranteed for citizens and residents, visitors to a country usually aren’t tolerated as well. Or do they think South Africa is part of the USA?

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