Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Motorcycle Cops! And I’m dreaming of a white Santa…

Cops on motorcycles arrive to chase Revolutionary Grrl down the street.

OMG--I'm starting to hear the "From Russia With Love" excitement music!

Well, I’m doing a bit better today–at least my nose isn’t dripping like a faucet. How I LOVE winter colds! Add to that, an old filling came out and the dentist examined the tooth and guess what? I need another crown! I swear, I’ll have nothing but crowns in my mouth in a few years, more than the crowned heads left in Europe.

Anyway, it took me longer to do today’s episode, the final one of 2013. That’s right, as Revolutionary Grrl gets chased by motorcycle cops, appearing from what suspiciously looks like the entrance to the underpass at Dupont Circle, and ducks around a corner, we leave her for the winter hiatus. Christmas and New Year’s, Russian Christmas (a staple in my family)–my, that red lettering in the cartoon is mighty Festive! I have lots to do before the convention season begins in February, so I’ll stay on hiatus until January 20. OK, sorry about coming back Martin Luther King Day, but, better I take off the 13th and return the next week, than come back for one episode and then have another break the very the next week.

Speaking about winter holidays, tho’, it seems there is a brouhahahahahaha going on about Santa Claus. Wow, did you realize that he was really a WHITE GUY? Thanks, Megyn Kelly of Fox News, you’ve certainly put all those little black kids in their places:

“You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry,
Better not pout, I’m telling you why…
Santa Claus is joining the Klan,
Oh, man!

He sees you when you’re sleeping.
He knows when you’re awake,
He’s built a cross that he will stake
And burn just to make you quake!”

Ah, how I’m dreaming of a WHITE CHRISTMAS, Megyn! Just as white as the blue-eyed, golden-haired Jesus that you’ve painted for me. I’d drink an eggnog to you, but with that yellow egg yolk and brown brandy and nutmeg, it might not be white enough for you. How about some milk–with the cookies you put out for Santa. That’s right, VANILLA WAFERS. Oreos and chocolate chips? Much too suspiciously multi-cultural for your White Christmas.

Anyway, Happy Holidays, people! And for you non-Christians, Happy Kwanza, Gode Yule, Festivus for the Rest of us, and most of all, have a Sated Saturnalia. IO! SATURNALIA! And fear not–We’ll actually get to the plot before Katsucon in February! And remember to vote this up on Reddit and LIKE it on Facebook! See you next year!

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And This Year’s Award for Biggest Jerks in Congress … The Envelope Please

the sequester--coming soon to a government near you

A shoo-in for a Razzie for 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 ...

Well, the Academy Awards were last night and, just in case the fright-wing had any doubts about the liberalness of Hollywood, Michele Obama was on hand to deliver the Best Picture Award to ARGO. I’m sure Rush et al will be making hay out of that for the next week.

Actually, the reason the FLOTUS was there was to present an award to a movie that celebrated one of the few times when the CIA got one right. With liberal dollops of help from Canada, eh? Hey, Ben Affleck! Canada says you didn’t give it enough credit–how aboot a big “I’m sore-ry.” Teehee–couldn’t resist twitting my Canadian relatives.

The BIG SERIOUS news tho is the dreaded SEQUESTER that is aboot–err, about–to descend upon the American people. Yes, that’s right, once again the American economy is about to be wrecked by the Tea Partiers who love America–unless a last-minute rescue worthy of THE PERILS OF PAULINE gets performed. Said last-minute rescue will naturally screw everyone in the United States except the 1% of the 1%–but that’s OK because the sequester will screw EVERYBODY and push us back into the Great Recession. Might as well save SOME people! Too bad it’s the ones who already have life rafts.

At this point, I almost wish the SEQUESTER gets performed. It will be the first time the Pentagon actually loses money and MAYBE, those damn tax-hating nincompoops will see what havoc their ideology shall wreak. But I don’t have any confidence in that. The one thing that invariably happens when you prove a true believer wrong to his face is that he will retrench and believe all the harder. Sort of like saying “I do believe in fairies” to save Tinkerbell, only screaming it.

In any case, yours truly had a great weekend at Katsucon last week. I didn’t get to see too many friends because the weekend was so good for sales, I did not dare leave the table for more than a few minutes at a time. I premiered a new work based on the HELL GIRL anime which my friend Charles Dunbar showcased in his “Dead Like Us/Remixed” presentation at the con. Thanks to Kevin and Peter of A Kawaii Boutique for their company and for taking care of my table when I needed a break. And thanks to all the cosplayers and artists who dropped by to say hi and especially the ones who bought something!

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Drone Wars Theme Song–The Road to Dystopia!

Parody version of Road to Morocco about the use of drones

With apologies to Bob and Bing...

Okay, guys, time to prove just HOW OLD I AM again:

THE ROAD TO DYSTOPIA
To the tune of “The Road to Morocco”. Dystopia is pronounced Dis-TOPE-ya for the purposes of the song.
For those of you who are too young to have ever heard it, watch this Youtube video to get the tune:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_w3UG6C_Mo

We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
Pushbuttons do not hurt our spines!
Where they’re goin’, where we’re goin’, how can we be sure?
Just keep on believing that our motives aren’t impure!

We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
Watch out! There’s no end to the line!
I hear our target’s where they do the dance of the seven veils,
They won’t be doing it too long with rockets on their tails!

We certainly do get around!
Like endless wars in Orwell,
We’re Dystopia Bound!

We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
Look out! Well, clear the way, ‘cuz HERE WE COME!
As long as they’re shot over there, we haven’t any cares!
We hope our next-door neighbors don’t say five-fold daily prayers!

We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
Thinking just makes us go numb!
They told us they would never shoot them off on US soil.
Our government would never sell us second-rate SNAKE OIL!

We certainly do get around!
Like a Jimmy Cameron movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, we’re Dystopia Bound.
Or a comic book by Alan Moore that’s made into a superbudget movie that gets everybody wearing Guy Fawkes masks,
WE’RE DYSTOPIA BOUND!

No cartoon next Monday because *drumroll* this coming weekend I will be in Artist Alley at Katsucon 19, at the Gaylord in National Harbor, MD, so if you’re there, stop by and say hi–and perhaps buy a signed print or two. For those of you who CAN’T make it, go over to my Facebook fanpage and click on the LIKE button to get updates on this blog and on my other art that’s available at the conventions.

See you then. Intravenous Caffeine will be back in two weeks.

YESYESYES–I admit it–I was lipsyncing!!!

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And Now Everyone Can Get Back To Work

Blew out a fuse? OK, NOW say Beyoncé lip-synced.

The Night the lights went out in ... The Big Easy?

Superbowl XLVII is now over and everyone can go back to work. It was amazing–so little seemed to be happening this week–except for the NRA deepthroating the feet that they were busy cramming into their mouths. Everything else seemed to be Superbowl related–a possible shortage of chicken wings (when DID they become America’s snack of choice?) and speculation as to whether Beyoncé would try to lip-sync her performance. Well, there was no shortage of wings–a shortage of beer would have been a worse occurrence–and Beyoncé proved that even if she DID lipsync the Star-Spangled Banner at the Inauguration, she sure as hell didn’t HAVE to. Not the most exciting game for the first half, but after the lights came back on in the 3rd quarter, it suddenly looked like a football game. We will ignore the conspiracy theorists who speculated that the blackout was planned to break the Ravens momentum, expecially since the 49ers didn’t quite catch up (if it was ANY conspiracy, it was perpetrated by the network, hehehe). Congratulations to the Ravens but a great performance by the Niners (if you don’t count the first two quarters).

You know, when I was growing up, BASEBALL was the “National Pastime”. Football started to get on the map in 1958 with the Colts-Giants championship battle, dubbed the “Greatest” game in history–which I missed due to the NY blackout for a “local game”–like TV could cause spectators from NOT attending a championship game. There never seemed to be as much excitement for a World Series as for the Superbowl in my lifetime. Possibly because it’s easier to get excited for ONE game rather than seven. Possibly because the glory days of baseball were in the golden age from the 20s to 50s.

But the intensity of excitement for the Superbowl is incredible! A paean to American excess. Even the COMMERCIALS are considered the greatest commercials in history. You know, if I wanted to commit any sort of crime, from highway robbery to murder, I’d commit it during the Superbowl–guaranteed that even IF someone noticed during the three-hour-plus gladiatorial combat, nobody would DO anything about it until the final whistle! I guess we’re lucky in one respect–even the criminals are too busy watching the game to do anything truly nasty!

In the meantime, Yours Truly will be appearing in the DC area at Katsucon 19, the weekend of February 15-17 at the Gaylord at National Harbor, MD. I’ll be in Artists Alley so stop by and say hi–and perhaps buy a signed print or two. For those of you who CAN’T make it, go over to my Facebook fanpage and click on the LIKE button to get updates on this blog and on my other art that’s available at the conventions.

See you then!

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
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