Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Collateral Casualties should be minimal…

As the machine gun drone sprays the area, Revolutionary Grrl leaps for the rope she swung in on...

It's 3 a.m.--collateral casualties should be minimal--the crooks are all there during the daytime!

Ah-hah, our girl has taken out the drone’s sights with her paintballs. But … the drone sprays the area with bullets? Aren’t they afraid of collateral casualties? Naw, it’s 3 a.m., all the real crooks are there during business hours. There shouldn’t be anyone in the business district except some accountants trying to balance the books for year’s end.

Speaking of collateral damage, yours truly has been down with a horrible cold since Thanksgiving. We hope you all had a great Turkey Day. We did, but then the sniffles began the next day and the runny nose on Saturday and … well, I just haven’t been paying much attention to anything else for a few days. I see the insane wing has been jumping up and down trying to get the war on Christmas noticed again. Fat chance–Hallowe’en candy disappeared ON HALLOWE’EN so Christmas merchandise could be put in place! Black Friday was one of the most successful ever, according to Walmart–there were stabbings, several murders, a woman tasered another one … Just good clean American consumerism at its finest.

The fright wing, in the person of Rush Limbaugh, has continued to jump up and down about the Pope being a Marxist. You tell them, Rush–maybe you can lose any Catholics in your audience, or worse, in your sponsorship. And of course, they’re all aflame about people honoring Nelson Mandela, who died during the break. Another Marxist–he even admired CASTRO! I saw one letter claiming God had sent him to hell. God certainly took his time about it, since Mandela was 92, but then I think that 27 year imprisonment was more likely Mandela’s hell and that if there is an afterlife, he’s certainly in a better one than the injustice under which he’d suffered. Nonetheless, the Westboro Baptist Church has promised to go to South Africa to protest at his funeral. Let’s hope they suffer a little collateral damage when they discover that while free speech is usually guaranteed for citizens and residents, visitors to a country usually aren’t tolerated as well. Or do they think South Africa is part of the USA?

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
[del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Mixx] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Buzz] [Email]

If you did that in Britain, Rupert, what the hell did you do here?

You're going to take the fall...

You're going to take the fall...

“All right, Rebekah, the police will be here in a minute. You were the one who authorized the cellphone hacking. The dead soldiers in Iraq, the 9-11 victims, that kid whose parents were made to believe she was still alive so we could stretch out the story longer.”

“Rupert, yes, I did all those things, but I did it for YOU.”

“You took advantage of my friendship with all the bigwigs in government and paid off the police.”

“But only on your behalf.”

“And with my blessing–like they did in America and Australia–but no one will ever know that.”

“Rupert, what are you saying?”

“You’re going to take the fall.”

She looked at him in disbelief. Then shook her head, as if trying to shake the idea from her brain.

“Oh, Rupert, you do such wild and crazy things. For a moment, I thought you were serious. Don’t kid with me, Rupert, not about that.”

“Don’t let my reputation as a sleazoid fool you. That kind of reputation helps me deal with the enemy… the REAL newspapers, the gutless ones who oppose MY way of thinking!”

Then she said as the realization broke upon her that he was telling the truth.

“You don’t love me! You were playing with me. You never loved me!”

“You’re going to take the fall.”

The Maltese Cellphone

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
[del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Mixx] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Buzz] [Email]

© 2009-2017 Gregory Uchrin, Intravenous Caffeine All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright