FOX NEWS Reports: Obama Bin Laden Dead–oops, we mean OSAMA

Donald Trump takes credit for Obama's ordering the successful attack on Osama bin Laden.

Donald Trump's hair takes credit for the successful Navy SEAL attack on bin Laden...

TRUMP DECLARES: I WOULDA DONE IT YEARS AGO

Well, well, well, ding dong the witch is dead–we finally seem to have gotten Osama bin Laden. I am loathe to actually draw bin Laden. The last time I did it, I received an email from a gentleman of rather poor English skills suggesting that the rest of the accursed Western cartoonists and I should stop making fun of Mohammed (blessings and peace be on his name) if we wished to remain healthy. Only not quite as nicely. While my cartoon was definitely NOT mocking Mohammed, I guess if you don’t write English that well, you don’t read it much better and any protestations on my part that he may have misinterpreted my work would probably not have mattered that much anyway. Sorry, I can’t afford a 24-hour guard on my house. So no drawings of bin Laden.

Besides, how could I adequately satirize a man who single-handedly (well, OK, with a handful of followers) perpetrated an act which set the American people on a crazy ass course where they willingly gave up freedoms that the terrorists were jealous of, started two wars that had nothing to do with revenge for the events that inspired them, but which cost hundreds of billions of dollars per year for nearly 10 years, materially aiding greatly to the destruction of the American treasury? Osama never dreamed that his airplane hijackings would actually manage to bring down the Twin Towers–similarly he probably never dreamed that one act of terrorism could cause the American dream to self-implode. President Obama is to be lauded for finally terminating the proximate cause of our national misery. But the national misery continues since we are still dealing with those two wars, which will not be ended if our military has its way. Nor will the Treasury be repaired, since far more damage was done by continuing idiot tax cuts as we doubled our expenditures and since the economy of THE ENTIRE WORLD was broken by the greed of our bankers–who have been punished by smaller bonuses for that year. So the burden has been placed on the people responsible for … not protesting the idiot actions that others perpetrated and soon we will be destroying Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid and the rest of the social safety net to pay for the tribute we owe the ruling class. Land of the free market and home of the gravy.

One Fox News affiliate managed to mangle the news: But while this was defended as an unavoidable typo (unavoidable by IDIOTS that is), the standard Republican boilerplate response has been to universally applaud President BUSH for his great efforts in avoiding finding bin Laden for seven years as the reason for Obama’s successful effort a mere two years and a few months into his presidency. Thanks to the troops and oh, yeah, you too, President Obama.

At least we were able to watch ALL of Celebrity Apprentice before the news. Otherwise, after the reception he’d gotten at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, we’d have to face the wrath of the Donald’s hair turning rabid…

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Now she’ll be playing a new role–Miss Martyr 2009

Carrie Prejean lands on her butt after getting the boot from Donald Trump from her position of Miss California.

Former Miss California lands flat on her talent

Ahhhh, Carrie Prejean–you sure know how to keep in the tabloids! Donald Trump finally–oh of course, everyone has said it already–said “You’re Fired!” to the publicity hungry little wench. She’s on the Today Show today, spinning the tale why she “REALLY” got fired. Honey, you didn’t get fired because you said gays shouldn’t get married. There’s a lot of people who agree with you and your Biblically correct opinion. In fact, I’d say Donald Trump also believes marriage should be between one man and one woman…and then another woman…and another woman…and another. Wives have a TERRIBLE shelf life. So I hope (and I’m probably wrong) that you’re not trying to sell that week-old fish story. It wasn’t because you had a naughty picture taken, exposing what caused a national scandal when Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfunction in the middle of the SuperBowl. Remember that? Michael Powell (Colin’s son) practically declared it an act of terrorism that families should be exposed to such indecency. The CBS network was lucky they weren’t thrown in Gitmo for that!
It wasn’t that you were 17 at the time, and oops, you misspoke about the number of pictures there were. Hey, anyone could mistake one photo for four photos. No, the real reason is that after Donald Trump cut you a break, and another and another, you stopped showing up for official appearances and started making unscheduled appearances on your own, violating the terms of your contract. You were DISSING the DONALD–you were saying, in essence, I’m more important than this little crown thing of yours. Oh, you were sweet enough to his face, but as soon as his back was turned, you started playing Queen of the Universe and doing what you pleased instead of what you’d said you would do. As he explained, “To me she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else — she treated like s**t.” And that’s why you’re just not good enough to represent everything that’s good about California–because you’re such an asshole that calling you a bitch would be a compliment.

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