Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Collateral Casualties should be minimal…

As the machine gun drone sprays the area, Revolutionary Grrl leaps for the rope she swung in on...

It's 3 a.m.--collateral casualties should be minimal--the crooks are all there during the daytime!

Ah-hah, our girl has taken out the drone’s sights with her paintballs. But … the drone sprays the area with bullets? Aren’t they afraid of collateral casualties? Naw, it’s 3 a.m., all the real crooks are there during business hours. There shouldn’t be anyone in the business district except some accountants trying to balance the books for year’s end.

Speaking of collateral damage, yours truly has been down with a horrible cold since Thanksgiving. We hope you all had a great Turkey Day. We did, but then the sniffles began the next day and the runny nose on Saturday and … well, I just haven’t been paying much attention to anything else for a few days. I see the insane wing has been jumping up and down trying to get the war on Christmas noticed again. Fat chance–Hallowe’en candy disappeared ON HALLOWE’EN so Christmas merchandise could be put in place! Black Friday was one of the most successful ever, according to Walmart–there were stabbings, several murders, a woman tasered another one … Just good clean American consumerism at its finest.

The fright wing, in the person of Rush Limbaugh, has continued to jump up and down about the Pope being a Marxist. You tell them, Rush–maybe you can lose any Catholics in your audience, or worse, in your sponsorship. And of course, they’re all aflame about people honoring Nelson Mandela, who died during the break. Another Marxist–he even admired CASTRO! I saw one letter claiming God had sent him to hell. God certainly took his time about it, since Mandela was 92, but then I think that 27 year imprisonment was more likely Mandela’s hell and that if there is an afterlife, he’s certainly in a better one than the injustice under which he’d suffered. Nonetheless, the Westboro Baptist Church has promised to go to South Africa to protest at his funeral. Let’s hope they suffer a little collateral damage when they discover that while free speech is usually guaranteed for citizens and residents, visitors to a country usually aren’t tolerated as well. Or do they think South Africa is part of the USA?

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And as the laser sight sweeps around, Harry Reid pulls the nuclear option

Will Revolutionary Grrl take out the drone before the drone takes out her?

Will Revolutionary Grrl take out the drone before the drone takes out her? A race against time!

AH-HAH! Revolutionary Grrl has that paintball gun! Will she be able to take out the drone, before the drone takes out her? BTW. that drone is a laser-sight machine gun mounted in a quadopter, or 4-rotary miniature helicopter. Stephen Colbert failed to fly a toy-sized demo one that was brought on his program. This is a larger version of the same thing, which could be put to use to deliver medical supplies, emergency equipment, food, whatever to dangerous locations. Ammo, probably. And yes, there are already experimental machine gun mountings available.

This week has been all-Kennedy assassination, all-day, for several days on the television, with everyone and their brother remembering where they were when they heard. I remember where I was–in school. I kept thinking that “this couldn’t be happening” as my teacher gave us a moment for silent prayer. I spent the next several days hoping that this was a bad dream from which the world would wake up. We were glued to the television set at my house. Even more memorable was a few days later. Lee Harvey Oswald was being transferred from the Dallas jail he was being held in. My mother saw him and said, “There’s that bastard, somebody ought to shoot him,” and walked away to make Sunday dinner and suddenly–BAM! Somebody indeed shot him.

And I remember how old I felt when I mentioned to a younger friend about how vividly I remembered the day that Kennedy got shot, and she asked me with great concern, “They shot Teddy?” And now I can feel doubly old, when I acquire a new set of friends–who don’t remember Teddy! I’m afraid Bobby’s gotten lost in the shuffle.

The awesome power of the boob tube–bringing you live murder on the minute. How it has developed–now we can manufacture life-and-death situations for groups of nobodies so that the rest of us can be entertained by their ingenuity as they vie for a prize!

In the meantime, Harry Reid, after 5 full years of minority obstructionism, has finally pulled the plug and said “ENOUGH!” and taken the so-called nuclear option–going back to the original constitutional procedures for Senatorial advice and consent. NOTE that it is ONLY being used for approval of appointees. The minority can still veto any legislation they feel compelled to. Mitch McConnell, in a fit of Shakespearianism, has cried, “Damned be he who first cries Hold, Enough!” and told Reid that he would rue the day that he burst the dam on the largest number of obstructed appointments–SINCE THE REPUBLIC BEGAN! We can only hope that Messrs. McConnell, McCain, Graham, Cruz and the rest decide to blockade every bill in the coming year to force Reid into following Little Boy with the Fat Man and get rid of the filthy buster altogether.

For this, O Lord, we thank you.

Oh–and George Zimmerman’s temper has gotten him in trouble … again!

And in keeping with the spirit of thanks, we will be partaking of the annual feast again this year with old school friends. And after doing 9 weeks of an adventure comic with the new-found knowledge of WHY so many webcomics are “two dudes talking for 3-4 panels, with a punchline badum-tish!”, we will take the week off and truly be thankful. We will return on December 9 with the next installment of Revolutionary Grrl on Intravenous Caffeine. Once again, if you like what we’re doing, please click the LIKE button below and share with your friends. And Redditors, please vote us up! Happy Thanksgiving!

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Drone Wars Theme Song–The Road to Dystopia!

Parody version of Road to Morocco about the use of drones

With apologies to Bob and Bing...

Okay, guys, time to prove just HOW OLD I AM again:

THE ROAD TO DYSTOPIA
To the tune of “The Road to Morocco”. Dystopia is pronounced Dis-TOPE-ya for the purposes of the song.
For those of you who are too young to have ever heard it, watch this Youtube video to get the tune:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_w3UG6C_Mo

We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
Pushbuttons do not hurt our spines!
Where they’re goin’, where we’re goin’, how can we be sure?
Just keep on believing that our motives aren’t impure!

We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
Watch out! There’s no end to the line!
I hear our target’s where they do the dance of the seven veils,
They won’t be doing it too long with rockets on their tails!

We certainly do get around!
Like endless wars in Orwell,
We’re Dystopia Bound!

We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
Look out! Well, clear the way, ‘cuz HERE WE COME!
As long as they’re shot over there, we haven’t any cares!
We hope our next-door neighbors don’t say five-fold daily prayers!

We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
Thinking just makes us go numb!
They told us they would never shoot them off on US soil.
Our government would never sell us second-rate SNAKE OIL!

We certainly do get around!
Like a Jimmy Cameron movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, we’re Dystopia Bound.
Or a comic book by Alan Moore that’s made into a superbudget movie that gets everybody wearing Guy Fawkes masks,
WE’RE DYSTOPIA BOUND!

No cartoon next Monday because *drumroll* this coming weekend I will be in Artist Alley at Katsucon 19, at the Gaylord in National Harbor, MD, so if you’re there, stop by and say hi–and perhaps buy a signed print or two. For those of you who CAN’T make it, go over to my Facebook fanpage and click on the LIKE button to get updates on this blog and on my other art that’s available at the conventions.

See you then. Intravenous Caffeine will be back in two weeks.

YESYESYES–I admit it–I was lipsyncing!!!

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