Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

The Decider’s Decision Points: How I Flushed the Greatest Nation Down the Toilet

George Bush takes credit for his memoir as he holds up the trophy of his presidency, a bass fish he caught.

George W. Bush relives the proudest moment of his Presidency...

Georgie Bush, our own beloved sociopathic Alfred E. Newman, has been seen sneaking out from whatever rock he’s been hiding under for the last two years several times in the last few weeks, a sighting that could mean only one thing: his ghost writers have finished authorizating his rememboirs. Last week, the book finally emerged onto bookstore shelves and boosted onto the best-seller lists by the right wing book buying machine.

It comes as no surprise that George has no regrets about any policy decisions he’d made. The invasion of Iraq? Oh that was faulty intelligence–someone ELSE’s fault (which someone else, George Tenet, was awarded the Medal of Freedom for taking the fall for cooking the dumbass intelligence the way this dumbass president wanted). His main regrets appear to be public relations errors, Mission Accomplished (Great Job or something) and that stupid photograph of him looking out the airplane over sunken New Orleans. His worst moment? Kanye West calling him a racist. Because it forced a moment of self-reflection upon him? Au contraire–because it was so “disgusting” for Kanye West to say such a thing.

Kanye has become used to apologizing for things, so naturally he has now apologized to Bush. And well he should have. Bush isn’t a racist–it’s poor people he doesn’t like. Poor people exist to be exploited–white, black, yellow, brown, red, doesn’t matter–he’s an equal opportunity exploiter.

But what did we expect from Bush? Introspection? Precise delineation of how a person who rules from his gut came to gut decisions? We chronicled the Bush years after 2003 in HAIL DUBYUS! (when I finally decided to let loose my satiric skills–see my Best of Hail Dubyus and Best Of Page 2 pages) and in all that time, it was never clear whether Bush was an idiot, a lunatic, or just plain evil. His book does not elucidate that question any further. Most probably all three. But his book does show a fourth side of Bush–a lazy sumbitch who wasn’t even content to let someone else write his memoirs, but had to plagiarize other books about him by his advisors. Just think of it–we got into two wars and a near depression (which may still become a depression if the deficit hawks have their way) because this man was too goddam lazy to think about alternatative strategeries.

Speaking of my best of pages, you can get real printed copies of 70-some of my favorite Bush era cartoons at IndyPlanet, in all their 300 dpi glory. Look for Bushwhacked: The Wurst of Hail Dubyus and contribute to a noble cause: ME! (Seriously, I don’t get paid by anyone for creating these cartoons. I do it for the satisfaction of contributing SOMETHING to the universe to help hold us back from the cliff the Lemming States of America is rushing towards. But a few bucks would be helpful.)

In other news, AnimeUSA was this past weekend and later this week, photos of cosplayers will be up on my Flickr account. So anyone that I took photos of, be sure to check that link on Thursday or Friday, by which the pics will be uploaded.

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Two Little Maids From School Are We…

Newt

Awwwww, aren't chibis soooooooo cute and idiotic?

For those of you not into Japanese comics, a chibi is a diminutive character that usually performs the role of the “cute, annoying sidekick”. It actually means “small child” and adult characters can morph into their “chibi” forms when they are behaving stupid and childishly, bouncing up and down like a two-year old on tear in a temper tantrum. :)
Well, it seems that old Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck (whom I didn’t draw) have looked at the glass and called Sonia Sotomayer, Obama’s nominee for the Supreme Court, a racist–not noticing that this particular piece of glass was a mirror not a window. Her offense? Suggesting that someone of her background might have a broader range of knowledge and experience than a white guy. From Susan Crile in the Huffington Post comes the actual quote: As evidence, media figures like Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin, have pointed to a speech Sotomayor gave at the University of California, Berkeley, School of Law in 1992. During the speech, she said, “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.” Oh gee, maybe a little self-congratulatory, but racist? Well we all know the strategy from the Karl Rove playbook, “Thou shalt accuse thy opponents of thine own fault before they accuse thee!” By doing this, you make your opponent seem childish and unoriginal if they turn the accusation back on you…i.e., “You’re a racist.” “No, YOU’RE a racist.” “No, YOU’RE the racist…” etc. etc. You get the picture. Pundits like Gingrich, Limbaugh and Beck are trying to appeal to the basest of their base–not the intelligent, informed conservative, but the xenophobic nuts who have hijacked de facto control of the Republican Party. Whatever happened to the party that could boast liberals like Nelson Rockefeller–yes, at one time, it was possible to use liberal and Republican in the same sentence and within living memory too! Better start kissing the Hispanic vote goodbye, guys, you can have your wish of being the “whitest of whites” party. Pass the Clorox, please.

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And There’s A Bridge In Brooklyn We’re Running An Ad For

Cartoon strip of a spokesperson for the NY Post issuing a non-apology for their chimpanzee cartoon while being subjected to indignities by a real chimpanzee.

The Post defends its innocent (KOFF!bullsh*tKOFF!) cartoon...

There’s an saying in New York: “The Daily News is for people who can’t read, the Post is for people who can’t think…” (and the Times is for people who think they can read). If you haven’t been living in a cave for the past week, you’ve probably heard of the latest demonstration of total thoughtlessness on the part of the New York Post. Thoughtlessness at best. Rabidly racist and possibly treasonous at worst. Seems there was this pet chimpanzee that suddenly went bonkers and attacked its owner’s neighbor and well-nigh tore her face off before the boys in blue shot it down. That’s part one. Part two is that President Obama signed his stimulus bill–a bill which he was one of the principal architects of. There was a photo of this on page 11 of the Post. Turn the page. On page 12 is a cartoon. A dead chimpanzee shot by two policemen and one says to the other, “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”
Now the Post says that this was really an innocent cartoon. It OBVIOUSLY referred to the chimp in Connecticut that got shot down. And they were kinda sorta sorry if anyone misinterpreted it, meaning any member of a racial minority who gets a bit bent out of shape when subjected to a racial slur. Like calling them apes. You remember apes–chimpanzees are one of them. Why would this be so “misinterpreted”? Because the stimulus plan–you remember, the thing that President Obama just signed on page 11–had been put forward–by a BLACK person. You know, one of THOSE people (to use one of the euphemisms by which bigots often refer to African-Americans) that racists have called apes.
That’s only the half of it. By portraying the author of the stimulus plan as a crazed, out of control beast that needed to be shot before it caused any more harm, the Post came VERY CLOSE–too close–to suggesting that the President of the United States deserves to be shot down like a wild animal. That sounds extraordinarily like a call for assassination to me. And to a lot of other people. Some of whom think it’s a good idea. I am appalled by the thought that a major American newspaper can suggest a heinous crime and then just get away with it. I don’t just blame the Post. I blame the Republican Party and all its hacks on right-wing radio for creating an environment of hatred. Yes, there are good Republicans. Many of them. But I ask–when are they going to stand up and abjure the politics of division and hatred that is poisoning the land they claim to love? Think about it–racism is the neo-conservative patriotism.
As for the Post’s non-apology. You’ve all run into them–the verbal bully. The man/woman who makes jokes at everyone else’s expense. And if you complain–they make it your fault–what’s the matter, no sense of humor? You’re just too sensitive. Somehow they make the fact that you took offense at an insult winds up being your fault and everyone around agrees–mainly because they don’t want to be the butt of the NEXT slur. Well, re-read the Post’s apology. If that isn’t an attempt to deflect the criticism back onto the offended (in the person of the Rev. Al Sharpton), I don’t know what is.
(DailyNews) New York Post offers half-hearted apology for chimpanzee cartoon has an excellent summary and a deservedly small reproduction of the cartoon.

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