Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Ron Jeremy Pulls a Sarah Palin–Explanation below!

Ron Jeremy pulls a Sarah Palin and writes script crib notes for a movie where he is sure to be able to read them.

Hey, the man's getting on in years--how do you expect him to remember all that dialog? (Rendered Harmless for your SFW pleasure)

EXCLUSIVE! Ron Jeremy, star of a huge number of adult movies, has been caught by our staff using crib notes. While on the set of “Jurassic Pork III”, Jeremy wrote lines of dialog on his “Ron Jeremy” as an aid to remembering them during shooting. “Hey, I’m not getting any younger and after all the movies I’ve done,” Jeremy said, “I need a little help–so much of the dialog sounds the same. I mean, how the heck AM I going to be able to film Dirty Bob’s Xcellent Adventures 35 when I’ve got the dialog from Dirty Bob’s Xcellent Adventures 29 in hand?”

This stunning revelation follows upon the recent brouhaha concerning Sarah Palin’s use of notes on her “Palm Pilot” while mocking President Obama for using a teleprompter in the same speech. Fox News also produced videotape of Dianne Feinstein for having crib notes written on her hand for a debate in 1990.

Jeremy replied, “Come on, you’re in a smokeless bar and some hot chick gives you her phone number and you’ve got nothing to write it on, what’re ya gonna do? I guess I’m not stupid enough to make fun of somebody else for doing it when I’ve got almost 10 inches of phone numbers on my own!”


REPORT FROM KATSUCON–Katsucon 16 was held this last weekend and your cartoonist was in attendance, ‘tho barely so because of the really cold temperatures in the DC area. Man, that walk from the parking lot got harder and harder every time I made it. I’m still not sure the Gaylord is the proper venue for an anime con, considering that the Gaylord is targeted at upper income levels and the average con-goer is 15-25 years old with little disposable income–especially in THESE times. The lack of public transportation limits local participation to people who can drive or get rides and the price of parking at a “resort” convention facility is rather daunting. Also the dearth of reasonably priced fast-food or family restaurants can really bite into a budget. While there were some preparedness issues (no one on-hand at the hotel to post schedule changes and treating the formal ball as if it was a rave with a dress code), the hotel staff was very helpful, especially the concierge, and despite frozen feet from trudging back and forth to the car, a good time was had by all. Shoutouts to my friends Lori Collins, Tala in blue, Chris Malone from Blue and Blond, Kittyhawk from Valkyrie Yuuki, Mike Terraciano from Dominic Deegan, Oracle for Hire. Only took a few photos (the cold trudge through icy paths from parking bit into my picture taking enthusiasm), but they are posted at my Flickr account, along with some recent pictures of the Blizzard of ‘010 near my house.


TAKING OFF THURSDAY FOR CONGRESSIONAL RECESS! YAY!

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