Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Martha Raddatz Forces Paul Ryan into a “Bela Lugosi Moment”

Sacrilege--a moderator who moderates! Show us the math, Paul Ryan.

Paul Ryan does his impression of Dracula being faced down with a crucifix.

Everyone was talking last week about the Thursday night smackdown of Paul Ryan … by Martha Raddatz! About this across the board 20% tax cut … do you have the specifics? Do you have the math? Do you even know what you’re doing? (Well, not exactly the last one, but pretty close).

As Ryan averted his eyes and shielded himself from the glare of intense scrutiny with a more horrified scowl than Dracula being faced with a crucifix, Martha boldly advanced with her Holy Microphone! No No NO! I’m going to try to weasel around with some nonsense about Republicans reaching out for a bi-partisan solution (like THAT’S ever happened in the last 12 years). So Martha delivered the final blow: “Yeah–NO specifics!” BOOM! Score one for an objective TV journalist.

Joe Biden loved it so much, he laughed through the entire debate. Actually, Joltin’ Joe got enough solid wood on the ball to knock several so far out of the park–and Ryan along with it–that Andy Borowitz quipped that the Democrats now want Biden to take over for Barry in all the rest of the debates. Barry’s response was that he realized he gave a less than stellar performance the first time, and THIS time, he was actually going to prepare for the debate. Good move, Mr. President!

The Press–you know, the one with the so-called liberal bias–on the other hand, gave bad marks to Joe for laughing and eye-rolling at every one of Ryan’s glossing over of the facts and plain old mendacity. The same press that fell over itself four years ago to praise Sarah Palin’s winken-blinken-and-nod performance–you know, someone SHOULD have criticized her for making fun of the handicapped like that–calling it “fresh and spunky”. I guess the difference between “fresh and spunky” and “angry old man” is about 30 years. This from a press that seems to think “Moon–Green Cheese? Blue Cheese–an alternate viewpoint!” is a solid debate topic.

Anyway, now the ball is back in the big boy’s court. Let’s hope that President Obama has learned a lesson about not misunderestimating his opponent. Just because he’s a robot with a pretty hair-do for a brain doesn’t mean he can’t pack a wallop in a medium where you win by LOOKING GOOD. And that’s the way it is.

A sad note this weekend. Arlen Specter, the last Republican with a conscience, passed away after a long battle with cancer. If you want to talk about bi-partisanship, he was one of the last Republicans to believe in it. So much so that his party forced him to seek re-election as a Democrat. I didn’t always like his votes, but I had respect for the man. He–and his kind of politician–will be missed.

And if you’re wondering about my Dracula references–Hallowe’en IS on the way and my wife got me the Universal Horror Blu-Ray Collection for my birthday. Bela Lugosi is stunning in HD!

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I’m Back (Ouch Ouch Ouch) Sort Of

Paul Ryan tells us Mitt Romney's tax plan is magic.

MAGIC!

I’m back again–more or less. At least my front is–my actual back has been on the verge of going out all weekend. I know that most people with bad backs get it in the lumbars so they can’t bend–MY back goes out in the thoracic vertebrae–one little spot where no matter how hard you twist or stretch, you can’t QUITE get it back in place. And like I said–on the verge. Not bad enough to hie me to the doctor, but not good enough to sit upright for long periods without being AWARE that this bone will soon be out of joint.

ANYHOW. We’re back for the final four weeks of this hoohah where the incumbent, Barry Obama, has been doing a fairly competent job piloting the boat despite half of Congress rowing the wrong way–that is, any way that is opposite to the way he’s pointing, even if that was the way they had pointed before. Chatsworth Osborne Junior, otherwise known as Mitt Romney, is running against him, simply because as the person with the most money in this high school, he thinks he ought to be student council president. And while we were on hiatus, he chose Paul Ryan, tax wonk who cannot add or subtract, to be the brains of the outfit.

Paul was asked to explain Mitt’s tax plan, which has been described previously as exactly like Paul’s but nothing like it. He responded this weekend that it was too complicated to explain, leading us to confirm that like most things in this world, Republicans expect the world to run on magic and wishful thinking. Hell, even HOGWART’s expects you to put a LITTLE effort into your spells (but of course, Hogwart’s would lose federal funding under a Republican administration since it is magickal and thus a creature of the anti-Christ.)

In the meantime, Intervention Con was last weekend and a great time was had by all. I premiered the second volume of my BLEACH parody, BLECCH PART DUH, to great fanfare and the parties were primo! Pictures from the con can be found in my Flickr album.

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