Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Commies, Muslims and Nazis! Oh, My!

Bankers think they are a superior species to the rest of us.

Father and Son Day at First Global Megabank, N.A.

The latest news in wingnut circles is that Occupy Orlando (and by extension, the entire Occupy Movement) is being directed by (drumroll) The Muslim Brotherhood! Wow, militant Muslims AND the Nazis! No wonder they’re so anti-Semitic! After all, [irony alert] The JEWS run the banks!. [/irony] (Never mind those Yom Kippur services that were held…)

DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!

Not to mention evil-smelling HIPPIES doing marijuana and having SEX all over the place! And Communists. And Socialists. And thrill-seeking college kids with nothing to do (ummmmm, could that be why they want JOBS?)

And they’re all WHITE PEOPLE–when you don’t catch anyone else on camera. Not enough diversity! Like there is in the executive suites of the banks and brokerage houses (KOFF!).

Let’s turn the question the other way. Who runs the banks? Sociopaths. Sociopaths are people who think that they’re ABOVE the rest of the world and that the rules don’t apply to them. Like Skeletor, people who think they are Masters of the Universe. People who think regulations are made for losers. You know, losers like you and me.

Why are we losers? Well, let me tell you. Back in my youth, the banking interest rate paid to depositors was a standard 3%. That’s 3, not 0.3 or 0.03. The inflation rate in those days kept steady at or below 3%, meaning your savings actually made money compared to inflation. What’s the inflation rate today? About 3%. And what’s the going interest rate on savings for the big banks? 0.5%. One HALF of a percent! The banks take that money, lend it out and make profits on it. Very large profits because … we are actually PAYING THEM to hold our money for us. If we took our money out of the banks and invested it practically any other way, we’d get bigger bang for the buck. But we need to keep it in the banks so we can write checks and have credit and debit cards, so they have us over a barrel.

Think about that the next time someone smears the Occupiers…

Hey–why do they call them brokers? Because that’s what you are when they speculate with your money! Why did the banker cross the road? Why shouldn’t he–what are you trying to do? Regulate the banks? What’s the difference between a banker and a tapeworm? You can remove a tapeworm!

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
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Scott Walker: Thug

Scott Walker is likened to a thug who blames his victim for making him shoot him.

Wisconsin Governing Style

There’s a joke making the rounds that bears repeating: The Koch brothers, a tea partier and a teacher are sitting at a table with a pile of cookies in the middle. The Koch brothers sweep up all but one and say to the tea partier, “Watch out for that teacher–he wants your cookie!” Michael Moore, our official national agitator, showed up in Wisconsin this weekend and spoke on behalf of the Wisconsin 14. He reminded people that America wasn’t broke, there was plenty of money to go around, the problem is that over half of it is being hoarded by the 400 wealthiest of our society. And the reason that government is in trouble is quite simple–these 400 refuse to acknowledge their own dependence on the society that allowed them to gain what they have and thus feel justified in refusing to carry no load but their own. And these 400, far from being productive members of society, are not only parasites upon it, but because of their vast wealth have not just influence but control over their “host”.

It’s people like the Scott Walkers of the world who see their fortune not in serving society, but servicing the parasite that lives on it, in the hope that they may rise to be part of the next tier, the 40,000 who have the bulk of the remainder of the wealth. Their methodology? We see it in Scott Walker’s actions. Threats, coercion, blanket layoff notices, illegal fines and imprisonment. In short, acting like a thug. We have been slipping slowly and inexorably into thugocracy for the last 30 years, the iron-fisted rule of the minority. And their biggest weapon? Pitting citizen against citizen to fight for the spillage from their tables, the only thing that trickles down. You think our national sport is football? Nuh-uh. It’s bum fights. And we’re the bums.

Be careful of those guys–they want all the cookies.

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
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