Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

The REAL War on Christmas

“Enough of that UN-mandated Socialistical ramp--here, your old crutch will be in better keeping with your home schooling...”

If you think this doesn't make any sense, join the club...

Bill O’Reilly and the Faux News crowd are in the middle of their annual War On The War Against Christmas, dredging up every incident of Happy Holiday-ism they can find in an effort to show how anti-Christmas America has become. Bill also argued that Christianity isn’t a religion, but a philosophy. Not to say that a good Catholic boy like O’Reilly has a fundamental misunderstanding of either Christmas or Christianity, let’s take his statements at face value for a moment.

As the Spirit of Christmas Present says to Scrooge (in the Alastair Sim movie but not the book), “We Spirits of Christmas do not live but one day a year, we live the entire 365.” And what is that “spirit of Christmas”? Buying gifts? Setting up Nativity scenes? Randy office parties? Santa Claus? No, the true Christmas spirit is “Peace on earth, good will towards men.” It means not going to war unless you really have to. It means giving to those less fortunate. It means going the extra mile for your fellow man. Not just in December, but all January through November as well. Above all, it means ANYTHING but paying attention to Ayn Rand.

That’s the Christian philosophy in a nutshell, Bill. And your cohorts, the Republicans in the Senate, showed just how much true Christmas spirit they had when they turned down the UN treaty on the disabled. Never mind that John McCain endorsed it, George H. W. Bush endorsed it, Bob Dole was wheeled in from his deathbed (as Jon Stewart put it) to endorse it. Never mind that it was based on OUR OWN LAWS. The Republican bloc but a handful voted it down because it raised serious concerns about our sovereignty (all treaties do–that’s part of the reason we have them), it was a socialist plot from the hated UN, it was an attack on home schooling according to Paul Ryan, the idiot we were spared from having as Vice President a few weeks ago. But above all, because Barack Obama wanted it.

Nice going, guys–maybe you’d like a chance to repeal our own disability laws now. After all, building ramps might cut into corporate profits.

Oh. And Merry Christmas.

Happy Hanukah to all our Jewish friends (as they say on the news). We will be taking our winter hiatus after our annual HOLIDAY card next week.

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
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Shorting our future

The \'super-patriots\' prepare to blow up the government.

What would Jesus do? Who's that?

No cartoon next week because I’ll be returning from Otakon and several days of running a table on Artists Alley. I’ve got so much to do, I’ve got to keep this short to.

And speaking of short … I hope that’s the position you’re all holding, because that’s the one the big boys are. Short-selling–in preparation for the biggest manufactured sell-off in history when Standard & Poors downrates the United States thanks to our patriotic tea-partiers in Congress. Why did the deficit become so important after 8 years of Cheney saying “Deficits are not important?” So that THIS bear market can happen on Obama’s watch in the hope that everyone will vote Republican and the lads can feed at the trough again? Au contraire! They never stopped.

What happens after a sell-off? The big buy-back–with the loot gained by going short. So that the top 1% will have even more. They’ve learned their lesson from Ayn Rand’s John Galt really well–if something stands in your way, blow it up. And the something that stands in the way of the Kochs, the Murdochs, the Bushes, the Blankfeins and all the rest? The American people and the American government. And they’ve got the self-appointed super-patriot Tea Partiers to help them!

What’s the difference between a Koch brother and a leech? The leech lets go when it’s full. How many bankers does it take to change a lightbulb. Only one and he can do millions–they’re very good at screwing. What gated community will you never see a banker in? A prison–they’re too big to punish.

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
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