Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Did he really think that this would make God happy?


If I wasn't happy about dens of thieves, don't you think slaughterhouses might not be high on my list, either?

If I wasn't happy about dens of thieves, don't you think slaughterhouses might not be high on my list, either?

One day, Jesus walked into the temple and saw its courtyard teeming with moneychangers, moneylenders and other parasites. So he picked up a cord and knotted it and began whipping their collective asses until they skedaddled and said, “My house is a house of prayer but you have made it a den of thieves.” Jesus was pissed off. And that was just from people doing straightforward, legitimate business–it was just that it was the wrong place to be doing straightforward legitimate business. So now we have this fanatic who decides, oh, it will make God really happy if I kill someone right in a church. Please note, I’m not saying what the issue is here, because the issue doesn’t really matter and just gets in the way. You don’t kill someone who you disagree with because it’s wrong and you don’t kill them in a church. That’s called sacrilege.
A lot of news sources have been muddying the issue by calling the murder of Dr. George Tiller an execution. You execute someone for doing something BAD. Whether you’re the government executing a killer or a mobster killing a doublecrosser. But when you pull out a gun and shoot someone unsuspecting in the middle of Sunday services, you’re not “executing” anyone. To call this an execution legitimizes the murderer’s point of view. Let’s call a spade a spade: You’re assassinating him. You’re performing an act of terrorism. You’re saying, this doctor performed abortions, this is a warning to all other doctors that this will happen to you also if you perform abortions. You’re saying that you have the right to decide who lives and dies, the very same thing you have accused the man you killed of.
There are many, like Bill O’Reilly (O’Reilly’s campaign against murdered doctor) who called Tiller a “nazi”, “baby killer”, nicknamed him “Tiller the baby killer” who are now going to turn around and condemn the schmuck who pulled the trigger without considering that it was their rhetoric that loaded the gun. Or Randall Terry, who seems more upset with the fact that President Obama decried a CRIME than about the fact that a crime had been committed. Self-righteously intoning that he is sorry that the victim didn’t have time to repent. How is that any different from supporting terrorism? If the killer had been a member of al-Qaeda, I’m sure he would have no problem condemning the action. And that’s what I’m saying, don’t approve of something your friend does that you would condemn if your enemy did it. After all, aren’t you supposed to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?”
No, this isn’t a very funny cartoon today.

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Adam Lambert’s Kiss Spins Bill O’Reilly Out of his Zone

Bill O'Reilly censors the image of Adam Lambert kissing another guy, despite its availability all over the web

Adam Lambert kissed a boy and he liked it--but you won't see it on the Total Spin Zone, lest more states approve gay marriage.

That Bill O’Reilly is a homophobe should come as no surprise to anyone–the very idea of same sex kissing sends a tremor up his spine–unless it’s between three or four hot chicks, in which case, it ain’t his spine that’s all a-trembling. Bill is the kind of guy who likes the original movie “The Producers”, but can’t stand the musical because it was gayed up. After all, in his world view, gays should hide their gayness so as not to embarass any straight people that happen to wander by. It’d be far better if they joined the Church like they’re supposed to.
Which brings us to Adam Lambert, one of the more popular contestants on this season’s edition of American Idol. See Jason Linkins’ column in the Huffington Post Right there we have a problem. You see, in Billo’s mindset, American Idol is supposed to be representative of America, and as we all know, gays aren’t REAL Americans. Now Adam Lambert is gay–and just to prove it, there are some photos floating around the internet of him kissing another man and presumably liking it. Which Billo didn’t show, presumably out of care for his viewers’ tender feelings. Which gave Bill the heebie-jeebies enough to ask his guests, Margaret Hoover and Monica Crowley, whether or not people will abandon American Idol in droves because, omigod, there’s a GAY person competing. And being miffed when neither of the two ladies agreed with him, explaining to him that talent shows are about talent, not about the sexuality of the performers, even if they are called AMERICAN Idol. But it is always fun to see Billo miffed when he makes another asshole judgment and no one agrees with him and he doesn’t have an excuse to call them jerks.
But it’s been a bad week for Bill. Not only has an Iowa court decision allowed gay marriage, but the Vermont legislature actually voted it in AND overrode the Governor’s veto. Not only that but Roger Ebert compared him to Squeaky the Chicago Mouse. Said Ebert, It seems that Squeaky was floating on his back along the Chicago River one day. Approaching the Michigan Avenue lift bridge, he called out: Raise the bridge! I have an erection! There, there, Bill, at least they’ll have to raise the bridge for your ego.
Here’s the video from Youtube:

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