Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Is this what it takes to get Christine O’Donnell to accept evolution?

A monkey is evolved into Rush Limbaugh by a magician, proving evolution to Christine O'Donnell.

Christine O'Donnell is finally convinced about the validity of evolution.

Still a little bit under the weather here, but definitely nowhere quite as bad as last weekend, so I’m gonna take it easy on the commentary this week. Anyway, it seems as if one of the many great quotes from Christine O’Donnell concerned evolution. “Evolution is a myth. Why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?” Why indeed, when devolution is so apparent, with people making monkeys out of themselves all the time?

I could blame the schools for not teaching an accurate summary of what evolution actually is. I could ask the evolution deniers “just what part of millions of years don’t you understand?” But that’s like shooting fish in a barrel. You can’t blame someone for not understanding millions of years in a culture that thinks “oldies” were top 40 six months ago.

Instead, I’m going to put the blame squarely where it belongs. On the science fiction TV shows of our youth. How many times on “The Twilight Zone” or “The Outer Limits” did we actually witness evolution taking place–RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES? “Oh, my god, he’s evolving–he has SIX FINGERS AND TWO THUMBS!” Not just evolution, but devolution with men turning into men in gorilla suits. “Oh, my god, he’s reversed evolution–if we don’t stop this right now, he’ll become an amoeba by the last commercial!”

In many ways, the “science” we were presented in movies and on TV was just magic with a different mumbo-jumbo. If so many people cannot accept the realities of science, is it because they’re expecting magic and they don’t get it? Millions of years? What good is that? If something’s evolving, I want to see it right NOW. Christine O’Donnell will not believe in evolution until she sees a monkey turn into a person right in front of her eyes.

Worse than that, in science there’s no one to bribe. “O Science, grant me this promotion and I’ll give up sinning for the rest of my life.” Nope, don’t work that way. Far better to have someone to entreat who might answer than to have no one to talk to at all. God is someone who will answer your prayers. Usually with a “no”. But “no” is an answer, isn’t it?

So maybe the scientists should practice pulling a few rabbits out of hats to get people to believe. After all, it worked with the loaves and the fishes. It all depends on whether you have the right basket.

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Mike Pence: I’m not against science, but everywhere I look, the earth is flat…

Chris Matthews ponders supplying a chuckbucket the next time Mike Pence is on...

Chris Matthews ponders supplying a chuckbucket the next time Mike Pence is on...

Rep. Mike Pence (R-Indiana) was certainly a busy little beaver the other day. Pence, who made news back in January by trying to say “that’s wrong” to Rush Limbaugh about hoping Pres. Obama would fail at the same time he was kissing the dittohead leader’s ass GOP Leader Pushes Back Against Limbaugh Line. First he appeared on the Morning Joe to flog the GOP claim that the Green Jobs bill will cost every taxpayer $3100 in added energy costs, an erroneous oversimplification at best (remember how they flogged their tax cuts by claiming the average savings per taxpayer would be a handsome amount which the “average taxpayer” didn’t even come close to realizing?–those huge tax cuts to the wealthy sure raised the “average savings” quite a bit :) ) or, more probably, yet another weasely prevarication to get people to vote against their own interests. After Brad Johnson had pointedly questioned the source of his figures, Mr. Pence went on yet another show, hosted by Andrea Mitchell, to flog the same figures. Rep. Pence Caught Lying About Green Jobs Bill and Mike Pence Uses Bogus Numbers To Raise “Tax Hike” Alarm (VIDEO). Finally, he showed up on Chris Matthews’ HARDBALL, where he claimed to believe in the “scientific method,” but distrusted it when it came to global warming, and would only say that God created the heavens and the earth when Matthews asked if he believed in evolution. “Asked about teaching evolution, Pence suggested schools should cover ‘all these controversial areas’ and let the children decide. Matthews concluded, ‘I think you believe in evolution, but you’re afraid to say so because your conservative constituency might find that offensive.’” Oh great, let’s have 10-year-olds decide whether or not to believe in the scientifically demonstrable so Mike Pence can straddle the fence. What an asshole.

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