Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Next–Debtor Prisons for Christmas?

Ah--the 53% speak--don't pay any attention to the guy with his hand up their...

Ah--the 53% speak--don't pay any attention to the guy with his hand up their...

Normally, I’d devote today’s cartoon to a Hallowe’en theme, but frankly, I’m not in the mood. I’ve just had another disastrous car repair bill–on top of more bills, bills, bills than you can shake a stick at. The car’s still at the shop–so I haven’t bought a pumpkin to carve. And yesterday, I managed to lose $50 … in the HOUSE. For the next 12 hours, I couldn’t find it and when I did, it was sitting right out in the open on the bed, where it was conveniently camouflaged by matching the colors on the bedspread. So instead, that gave me plenty of time to read about the latest Republican IDIOCY that they’re hoping will make sense to the yahoos.

The 53%. Ahhh, catchy name! That should make everyone forget about the 99%ers all right. Seems they now want everyone to get mad at all those people who don’t pay ANY income taxes. No, not the huge corporations and multi-billionaires who get REBATES from the government. They want you to get mad at the people who don’t pay any taxes BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE A JOB! Or who have one that pays just enough to make KETCHUP PACKET SOUP! How unfair! The Freeloaders! Make them pony up! Yes, sir! That will solve our deficit problem! This latest piece of lunacy is right up there with “Cutting Taxes Raises Revenues” and “Cutting Spending Creates Jobs.”

Now, please, I’m not blaming the 1% for not paying enough taxes. They’re paying what we tell them to. And a lot of the 1 percenters know damn well they’re not being taxed enough and ought to be asked to contribute more. But we’re not going to do it, not as long as there is an obstructing minority who believe that Scrooge’s ideas of how to treat the poor in the first few pages of A Christmas Carol are a F@#$%^& GOOD IDEA! Debtor Prisons! Workhouses for the Destitute! Let’s grind them down with our heels because they deserve it for not having the gumption to inherit their money like we did!

These people claim to love America. They just don’t like AMERICANS. Americans ought to be another exploitable resource and if they want jobs, they ought to be competitive with the Indians and Chinese who we can get to work for pennies a day.

So you see, I’m not really in the Hallowe’en spirit. But I’m getting closer and closer to the Guy Fawkes one. Hey, it’s better than Michael Myers :D

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[IRONY ALERT] After 150 Years, We’re Willing to Admit We Were Wrong–Lincoln WAS a Tyrant–Gov. McDonell

Grant: what if letting them go was the best idea? Lincoln: Whoa, Dude, that'd just be too ironic for words.

President Lincoln and General Grant discuss the war over a bottle of Grant's favored spirit, Old Varnish.

Renewing a Virginia tradition that was abandoned during the Occupation of Richmond by the treasonous Democrats, Governor Bob McDonell has declared April to once again be “Confederate History Month” in our fine commonwealth. In his proclamation, Governor McDonell studiously avoided all mention of slavery because the Confederate secession was not about slavery, but about states’ rights, in particular the right of individual states to decide if slavery was to be respected or abolished within its own sovereign borders and not be dictated to by an oppressive Northern government.

Besides, McDonell said, Confederate History Month was meant to be a celebration of the bravery and courage of those brave Southern boys who risked everything to defend their homes and the Southern way of life, and to mention “slavery” in the context would simply bring up a painful memory for all concerned, the descendants of the slaves and the descendants of the plantation owners who lost all their slaves.

Governor McDonell was proud of the fact that the Republican party has finally seen the error of its ways and has discredited Lincoln’s brutal insistence on the “sanctity” of the Union as the most arrogant oppression this country has ever seen. Now that 150 years have passed, McDonell said, the Republican Party no longer has to pay lip service to the images of its founders, a bunch of abolitionists and big government fetishists and has seen that the Democrat Party had been right all along.

“Just think,” McDonell added, “in another 150 years, what else will the Republicans support?”

[/IRONY]


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