Intravenous Caffeine

Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

Lloyd Blankfein, Vampire–Edward and Bella he ain’t, but he does suck something…

Nosferatu vs. New Moon--Lloyd Blankfein scares Edward and Bella into being even more clingy.

Now this is who the REAL vampire is...

It’s that time of year again–the time that we give thanks that the Christmas advertising season is finally 2/3 over. Remember when the Christmas season didn’t really begin until the kickoff at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. Or am I showing my age again. With the creep of the merchandising seasons, by 15 years ago, the Christmas season started showing up around Hallowe’en–Thanksgiving? what’s that–all we can sell is a bunch of turkeys that say fresh but are hard as the iceberg that sunk the Titanic. Now Columbus Day rolls around and all the stores have Kris Kringle in them! What with the Great Recession, I’m expecting for Santa to show up next year right after the BACK-TO-SCHOOL sales!
But sarcasm aside, we do have much to be thankful for. We can be thankful that Goldman Sachs was bailed out and used its money to pay the salaries of those poor starving executives who hadn’t had Beluga in over a week–CEO Lloyd Blankfein, you really are doing God’s work. We can be thankful that John McCain didn’t win the election–because by now some idiot would have shot him and we’d have Sarah Palin running the show. Those of us who HAVE jobs can be thankful we still have them and as for the rest, don’t worry, we’ll get around to you next year! We can be thankful that we can still pay insurance companies exorbitant fees for denial of claims because in 3 years they won’t be able to do that! Some of us can be thankful that NEW MOON is in the theaters and the rest of us can be thankful that we don’t have to go. And finally, we must be thankful for our celebrities, without whose stupidity, that’s right, I’m talking you, Lindsay “I don’t pay for fill-in-the-blank” Lohan, our lives would be so much less interesting.
AnimeUSA was a fantastic con, for those of you who might have an interest. I finally had the chance to wear my new tux at the formal ball, ran into all my friends from deviantArt who said they’d be there, actually had some nice photos taken of me that don’t make me look my age, ran into some people who’d actually seen my cartoons–YAY! and I found a FANTASTIC band. J-rock band QUAFF is KICK ASS! they are totally awesome–so awesome I went to both of their concerts at the con. The last one–at no’on on Sunday when half the con had left for airports and the other half were walking zombies–had so much energy that the 300 people in the audience were screaming as loud as 1000. I’ll update this with links when I finally get some sleep LOL.
Anyway a great time was had by all including yours truly and QUAFF will be at ANIME USA again next year. Happy Turkey Day everyone from me, Mr. Dymme, Fred and Bert–drive safely if you’re going out of town and we’ll be back Monday with a new dose of Intravenous Caffeine.

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
[del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Mixx] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Buzz] [Email]

Sarah Palin’s New Book: Should it have been called ‘Ramblin’ Rogue’?

Parody of Christian Serratos' 'Go Naked' ad for PETA using Sarah Palin and flogging her book, Ramblin' Rogue.

Christian Serratos She's Not!

Does it seem to you that the single most important talent for young actors and actresses is the ability to take their clothes off? Not that I’m complaining, nubile pulchritude is an important aesthetic consideration of mine (I’m afraid the guys don’t do much for me). As I said a few days ago, any sweet young thing (of legal age) who wants to send me photos of herself, just send me an email. Actually right now I’d rather have money–year end is coming up and the squirrels are getting frantic wondering if they can afford any Christmas gifts…and nuts. I rather enjoyed that shot of Christian Serratos posing nude for PETA–she waited a whole YEAR after her 18th birthday! It could ALMOST get me to go see NEW MOON–except that in my world view, vampires don’t sparkle–but these are Mormon vampires who wait until marriage to put the bite on their loved ones so I guess they’re different. (Interesting, when I go to google images to find this picture searching on “christian serratos PETA naked”, I go through about 10 pages and still can’t find the photo–Google doesn’t censor… so here’s the PETA page on the poster).
Of course, Sarah Palin is another story–although she doesn’t sparkle either. This former beauty pageant contestant where she paraded her bathing suited body in front of a bunch of ogling judges and an audience, is extremely modest these days and objected strenuously to NEWSWEEK using a photo of her dressed in short shorts, calling it sexist (even though she posed for the photo in the first place–I guess posing isn’t sexist but showing the photographs is). Now it seems the photographer may have broken a contract by licensing the picture to Newseek–but whether that contract was with Runner’s World (for whom the shoot was intended) or with Sarah isn’t being mentioned. Could it be that Sarah, former governor and mom doesn’t want publication to sully her image? No no no! The pic was supposed to be withheld from publication until August 2010–just in time to heat up the off-year elections with an image of Republican MILFdom!
What was SUPPOSED to be the only thing keeping Sarah in the public eye, besides her incessant twittering–excuse me, I meant tweeting–was her not very long awaited book about how wonderful she is, “Going Rogue”. Yup, she’s just a rogue elephant, mavericking around, you betcha. I hear it’s marginally more coherent than her normal writing–I’ll have to get back to ya on that one–since it was actually written by somebody else. In the meantime, I’ll stick with my own title, Ramblin’ Rogue. Never fear, Sarah comes across as self-loving and responsibility-shedding as always. She HAS probably made an enemy for life in Katie Couric, who, Sarah claimed, is so lacking in self-esteem that Sarah allowed her an interview out of pity–I’ll bet Katie would love to meet her in a dark alley without any witnesses! But that’s OK, now that the election is over, Sarah’s new BFF is none other than Oprah herself! Especially since Sarah’s appearance gave la Winfrey her best ratings in two years. And we must not neglect the ever fair and balanced Faux News which demonstrated the size of the crowds waiting for Sarah’s book by using a clip from last year’s presidential campaign.
Palin-Beck ’12? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I’ll be attending ANIME USA in Crystal City VA this weekend–look for me in the purple Intravenous Caffeine T-shirt (for sale over on the right) and say HI!

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
[del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Mixx] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Buzz] [Email]

Palin’s Pick, Preferred by Pawlenty, in Potsdam and Plattsburgh, got Plainly and Powerfully Pwned

Sarah Palin is offered THE BOX--press the button and a million dollars in publicity, but a conservative has to lose an election--PRESS PRESS PRESS PRESS PRESS

Also starring Doug Hoffman and Frank Langella

This is going to grab me no readers–after all, the results of this past Tuesday’s election are already wrapping yesterday’s fish. Which is odd, considering the runup which made it seem like it was the most important election after the last election (as Jon Stewart noted). Yesterday we had 24 hours of “Was this a referendum on Obama?” or “Was it just local politics?” Myself, I think it was a little bit of the former and a LOT of the latter. But That is NUANCE. And Cable TV News doesn’t do nuance. Leaving aside Faux News as a propaganda machine, the other two 25/8 news networks wouldn’t know nuance if it grabbed a mallet from hammerspace and hit them over the head. I mean, when Wolf Blitzer accidentally got a confession from Balloon Boy, someone had to whisper it in his earpiece before he even noticed what he’d tripped over. And over on MSNBC, Chris Matthews’ idea of a debate resembles more a college wrestling match than any intellectual exchange–2 out of 3 throws. But I shouldn’t take them to task–even the newspapers don’t do nuance any more–and they wonder why they’re being run out of business by the Internets.
Anyhow, to return to Tuesday’s election, pretty much everything happened the way it could really be expected–no matter how much anyone hoped otherwise. But the fun race of the day was Congressional District 23 of New York. District 23 has gone Republican for the last 2000 years, and this year it promised no difference. IF it hadn’t been for the teabaggers who decided that the Republican candidate, Dierdre Scozzafava, was a closet lefty, planning to bring socialism down on the heads of her constituents. After all, she supported abortion rights and gay marriage, the next thing you know, she would be demanding the re-distribution of wealth. So they sent in their ringer, Doug Hoffman. Hoffman, who had to be told where the 23rd District was, had no idea what its issues might be–he was being sent in to defend the country from Kenyan aliens masquerading as Hawaiians. Soon Sarah Palin descended upon the 23rd District, tho’ invited by none. Along with Tim Pawlenty, governor of Minnesota, they supported the hell out of Dougie.
Now you know the deer in the headlights look. Imagine that deer suddenly noticing a 16-wheeler coming hellbent down the highway at 85 mph and you’ll have a good idea of how Doug Hoffman started to look. I mean seriously, I’ve never seen a candidate with a more shell-shocked expression on his face–if he opened his eyes any wider, they would have exploded from the pressure differential. Because of or in spite of Sarah’s help, he started taking Scozzafava’s voter base and Scozzafava dropped out–instructing her supporters to vote for the DEMOCRAT, Bill Owens, who was at least playing fair. Despite that clue, Limbaugh, O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, and the rest, all fell over themselves predicting a landslide for the carpetbagger. The entire MSM called it the most important race of all time because it would show how much support Obama had lost and how important the teabaggers had become.
Then Dougie lost. The 23rd went Democrat for the first time in two millenia and … everyone switched gears and started discussing NJ and VA and THAT became the referendum on Obama. And by Monday, no one will even remember if we had the most important off-off year election of the century last Tuesday.
Have a good weekend folks 🙂

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
[del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Mixx] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Buzz] [Email]

And Sometimes, Sarah, Your Reasons are THIS obvious

First Dude reminds Sarah that according to Alaska law, she must make public disclosure of income received while governor--so she quits right after signing her book deal.?

Wonder why Sarah Palin quit right after signing the book deal?

Normally, I dislike posting on the same topic twice in a row (heck, I’d prefer to have at least two weeks) but an item was brought to my attention by my most faithful reader, i.e., the wifey, who forwarded this item from the Publisher’s Marketplace newsletter–Publisher’s Lunch Deluxe?–not online for non-members, so forgive me if I quote the whole thing:
“A Publishing-Centric Observation on Palin’s Resignation
“While we wouldn’t pretend to know the cause of Sarah Palin’s resignation from office, we have realized at least one effect: the size of her book advance will probably never be known publicly as a result.
“You may recall that attorney Robert Barnett submitted exclusively to Harper, helping ensure that Palin’s advance (despite some wild speculation in the press) would remain private initially. At the time it was presumed that the advance would be revealed subsequently when she disclosed her income as required by Alaska’s laws every March.
“But the Alaska statue would appear to require disclosure only up until when she leaves the governor’s office (“after leaving office, a former public official shall file a final statement covering any period during the official’s service in that office for which the public official has not already filed a statement”). So unless Palin has already received her first advance from Harper, or takes another public office within the next year or so, her advance is likely to remain private.”
Naturally, if her advance became public record, there’d be no way of hiding it once she began her presumed presidential run. Of course, presidential candidates normally disclose financial statements, but La Palin evidently figures she could get away with submitting only her 2012 statement. We don’t have any idea how much HarperCollins paid or will pay her, but the word on the street is that it is several millions. She may need a new strategy for making believe she’s just one of the people, after all, how many just-a-hockey-moms have a couple of cool mil in ye olde checking account, hmmm? Perhaps that rambling incoherent resignation speech was really meant to draw attention away from the real reason after all. When in doubt, follow the money.
Here are a few links from earlier this year discussing the need for disclosure:
Hillel Italie, AP via Seattle Times:” If terms of the book deal aren’t leaked by next spring, at least some of the details will be revealed in Palin’s next financial disclosure forms with the Alaska Public Offices Commission. Income next must be reported on March 15, 2010. However, if she isn’t paid in full by Dec. 31, some income may fall over to the next year’s report.”
The Common Progressive: “The actual amount of the advance that Palin is being paid was not released as public information, however the information will eventually become public as Palin will be required to disclose the earnings as income on her state disclosures. The figure is widely believed to be in the millions at a minimum. “

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
[del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Mixx] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Buzz] [Email]

This just in from Moosylvania–Palin Skedaddles

Homage to Rocky and Bullwinkle--celebrating the resignation of moosekiller Palin--Boris Badenov saw the party in Alaska from his window-- with guest appearance by Invader Zim who opines that Palin is crazy like a moose, and Gir who put lipstick on a pig.

Palin is so upset she went out to sue a Moore--I mean shoot a moose

Something tells me that Sarah Palin’s dustup with Dave Letterman didn’t quite have the salutory effect she wanted it to have. Sure, she made the headlines–for looking like an idiot–and his ratings went up a couple of notches. The media can be just so mean to poor little Sarah. So taking the advice that “when the going gets tough, the tough get going,” she decided to quit being governor. I’m not sure that that is exactly what that saying was supposed to mean, but that’s the way Sarah saw it. After all, she wants to get down more to the lower 48 as the Alaskans call it to have a greater visibility on the national stage in preparation for her presidential run in 2012. She has a book deal with Rupert Murdoch and there’s speculation that Fox News would love to have her spreading innuendo about godless liberal socialist fascist Muslims. There’s also speculation that there may be more ethics probes on the way and more than a few people have suggested that perhaps there is a family matter that needs to be handled before it becomes an issue. I’m rather hoping that she’ll confess to being one of Mark Sanford’s earlier dalliances–you know, the ones that he claimed not to have crossed some undefined line in? Rumors all of it–Sarah just got BORED and when Sarah gets bored, she quits and leaves her mess behind for someone else to clean up. She’s done it before–quitting the chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission. I wonder if she would have quit the Vice Presidency had McCain won? After all, being VPOTUS is supposed to be a terribly boring job–it was once famously described as not being worth a bucket of warm spit–only it wasn’t spit that was warm. That’s changed since Dick Cheney turned it into the actual power behind the throne, but Joe Biden seems intent on moving it back to its rightful place. Still, Bill Kristol thinks it might be a brilliant move–a certain sign that it is anything but. I’ll go with Karl Rove on this. Sarah, dear Sarah, what are you thinking? Of course, I’ve now become one of the bloggers she may be threatening to sue, like Shannyn Moore from the Huffington Post 🙂 Nice of her to make that threat on the 4th of July weekend, when we celebrate the freedoms of the United States–like freedom of speech and freedom of the press.
Today’s cartoon is an homage to Rocky and Bullwinkle. Back when I did my original Palin treatment, I’d planned on sticking Bullwinkle in it, but there just wasn’t enough room to do justice to the mighty moose. I obviously knew I would need to use him further on down the line 🙂 Invader Zim and Gir have joined the party celebrating Sarah’s resignation–after all, what could be better than a room with a moose if not a room with a herd of moose?

ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS! CONFOUND YOUR ENEMIES! PRESS ONE OF THESE BUTTONS--OR ELSE!
[del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Mixx] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Twitter] [Buzz] [Email]
« go backkeep looking »

© 2009-2024 Gregory Uchrin, Intravenous Caffeine All Rights Reserved -- Copyright notice by Blog Copyright